Thursday, August 2, 2018

Make new friends but keep the old

Friend is one of those words that is thrown around in my vocabulary on a regular basis. But, as with many words in the English language, it seems to have lost its depth sometimes, or maybe it's meaning just changed. We ‘friend’ people we add on our facebook pages. While driving around crazy DC streets I’ll often call the faceless cars around me friend. I generally call people among who I associate friend.

But it is far more than just to push a button to ‘friend’ someone on facebook, say ‘hi’ in the hall, or know of someone else’s existence. And yet these are all part of being a friend. I also love meeting new people. I meet so many new people that I may wonder how is it possible to keep up with all of them? Then there are those friends who I don’t see for years at a time and the next time our paths cross, it’s like music to the soul.


I decided to put some thought into what really is a friend. “Each Life That Touches Ours for Good” is a great hymn whose title suggests one definition. Interestingly, a friend is not the people who one loves. I like to make comparisons. If the opposite of a friend is an enemy, that means, according to our first definition, an enemy would be someone who touches our lives for bad. Jesus taught us to love our enemies, which implies to me that a friend isn’t defined by our love for them. In the same verse, He uses some parallism teaching techniques that give us more definitions of an enemy:

God’s friends are those who support Him and do good to Him are those who keep the commandments: John 15:14 "Ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command of you."

Matthew 5:44 , Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

A friend then is someone who praises you, loves you, doesn't take advantage of you or your weaknesses and doesn't persecute you.

My favorite quote I ever heard on friendship was from George Elliott:

“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping , and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.” George Elliot

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Revisiting 2012

Well its been quite the year starting on the European continent in my little house of Leeds, England, pond hopping to my beloved Hawaii with its sunshine and beaches, and ending back where my life all began in the shadow of the Wasatch mountains in Provo, Utah.  I enjoyed the slower pace of the British school system and in between my three classes on the Middle East, Peacekeeping and Peacebuilding, and Applied Conflict Resolution, I kept myself well rounded with some travels and trampings.  For work, I visited records offices and grave yards all around Yorkshire recording the names and taking photos of places connected to my Ancestors. Bradford, the town where my school was located, happens to be right where my Craven and Robinson lines are from. Every Wednesday I would enjoy some time with the fine folk at the Thornton Antiquarian Society who let me use their archive they had stored in the ladies toilet cabinet. I made wonderful friends there and learned a lot from their weekly lectures.

A dear friend in my ward, Starr Turner, became my adventure buddy. She, her four children, and I would jump in the car and go out into the countryside exploring. We visited Fountains Abbey (the richest Abbey ruins in Europe), Wensleydale cheese factory and Haws, Whitby, Bolton Abbey, great halls and through marvelous green fields bordered by mossy stone fences. These were tremendous times.

February included a fun trip to Paris France to visit my roommate Clio. I stayed in a beautiful Chateau almost to myself on the outskirts of Paris. I enjoyed Versailles (the world's third largest palace), walking around the Eiffel Tower, hovering about the Arc D'Triumph, visiting Montmarte, finding the most delightful book store "Shakespeare and Company" next to Notre Dame, and eating a genuine French dinner with Clio's local friends.  The baugette's, crepes, macaroons, and French onion soup was also heartily enjoyed on this short trip.

In March, I went to London for a few days and spend some time with friends: toured the city on Barclay bikes, visited Camden Market (a real gem filled with one of a kind knick knacks), Hampstead Heath, Keat's house, Hampton Court Palace (the world's fourth largest palace), and even watched "Singing in the Rain" in the West End. I had front row seats and got SOAKED as the actors kicked the fallen rain water from the stage into the audience. It was delightful.

My responsibility as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was to lead the 12-18 year olds in my congregation as their Young Womens President.  Every Tuesday night we had phenomenal activities: Battle of the sexes night, creating a music video night, a production of the plan of salvation, service to other ward members, and a teach us a skill you know night. These were but a few.  I loved watching them learn, their testimonies strengthened, and they in turn taught me.

I enjoyed several visitors while in England. My Uncle Jerry and Aunt Zuly met me in Hull where we did some family history work. My Great Grandmother Emily Atkinson on my mom's side was from there. We found the church where she was christened in the Church of England. It was right next to where her house would have been. I could almost see her playing hide and seek amidst the gravestones. Mom and Dad came to visit for my birthday! They were there two weeks in April and I gave them a whirlwind tour of Yorkshire and even took them up to Durham England where Dad's grandmother lived and joined the LDS Church. She had a favorite sunday school teacher that disappeared one day. When she inquired, she found that they had joined the Mormon Church. She went and found the missionaries. It was the teachings of the pre-existence that first rang true to her heart and, being disowned by her family, she left England and came to America.  We also visited Buckinghamshire with Starr's family and saw the grand estate of Waddesdon Manor and lived in a small farm converted Bed and Breakfast. In May, my two sisters Michelle and Julia came along with my Aunt DeAnn.  I gave them the tour and we also did lots of family history work.  Most memorable was the day we went to the records office two hours away in Beverly with some serious internal opposition but as soon as we found the Clark family, all of that went away. They are a very special bunch. We went on a church history tour of England that was also exciting and saw where the first missionaries and baptisms were in Preston. My Great Grandfather served his mission there so it was especially meaningful. We had amazing experiences and made wonderful memories on our work and play adventures.

Having finished all my classes and with some spiritual promptings that let me know I could go if I wanted to, I left England in the end of May the day after my sisters left. My friends had a farewell picnic at Kirkstall abbey and the Young Women had a tea party for me. I landed first in the good old USA capital city of Washington DC where my friend Steve picked me up at the airport and took me to Cheesecake factory with some of my closest DC friends for my first American meal in nine months. Brandon Lee told the waiter it was my birthday, not true, but they brought me a lit candle on icecream anyway. It was other friend's birthday so we celebrated for her by proxy.  I stayed with the Chyatte family who I used to live with. My friends Carl and Susan had a Crepe night party for me and friends as well. It was a spread to behold! I took a quick stop at the Library of Congress to get some materials for my thesis only to be found there, and then it was off to Provo for a quick change of luggage and hello before I flew to Hawaii.

June, July, and August went far too quickly. My first day on the beach back in the sun brought a burn, but also the most heavenly feeling of sunwarming that I hadn't felt for soooo long!! I did get my thesis written on community building and NGOs with the case study of Uganda. Hardly anyone read it but I learned a lot. My Dad asked once if I played or worked more. Definitely played. Its healthy. Back with my besties Cody and Josh and with good friends like Vickie, Seini, and Kealohi, my life was filled with adventure and fun. I visited Molokai with Kealohi and her family and got to ride the burros down to the leper colony.

In September I almost didn't leave, and an eye infection deterred me for another week so I couldn't leave. But, with tears, I hopped on another plane back to Utah.

October brought my Hawaii friends back as they came to Utah for General Conference. We drove the winding multi colored tree graced roads, played in pumpkin patches and Corn bins, and even took a ride up the ski lifts to enjoy the Fall foilage. It was a delight.

In November, I came back to Hawaii with the family for a trip to Ko Olina and Kauai. On the way to the airport, Dad told us that our beloved horse Jay died. When his previous owner sold him to us I remember him saying "You'd have to slit my throat to sell him but if it weren't for my family..." In tears he handed over the reins. I cried all the way to the airport and on the plane. Actually took turns from crying to smiling: "Jay Died. I'm going to Hawaii. Jay died. I'm going to Hawaii." Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Steve, and my two cousins Emily and Elizabeth were there with us. I'll never forget when after  some tragic news I received, Aunt Bonnie took me in her arms and held me. I love her. Dad won a two for one Helicopter Ride. He sent Michelle and me up. We made a great video for him as we soared over canyons and waterfalls.

I was planing on going to India for six months to work with Rising Star Outreach, a great organization that specializes in helping those in leper colonies be reintigrated back into society. They do so through children and schools. I was going to be a sponsor coordinator. I turned in my Visa application but what should have taken five days took a month and a half and my flight had to be cancelled. By the time my Visa arrived, flights were too expensive for me to go and if I went, I couldn't get back home. So I spent all of Christmas and into the New Year sitting before a lovely fireplace typing names into the computer from the Graveyards and records offices of England. A lot of wonderful people were remembered.

Let Art Talk

I'm currently writing a big long monstrous paper on how NGOs need to build 'social capital' ie community in the places they go. This means they need to basically support and then get out of the way while people heal through building trust and care again in their societies.  Some programs worked well in this regard. One of them, Let Art Talk, seemed especially good and I got a first hand glimpse of because my guide who took me to Gulu happened to be one of the people who worked on it, Vincent Okuja.

My Dreams Came True: A Disney Christmas Miracle


I have had the pleasure of visiting Disney World twice in my life. The first time was as a young child. I was seven years old. I remember myself as sometimes being very afraid of the world at that age. But all fear was gone when I rode “It’s a Small World After All.” My family and group lost me for the next long hour or so as I jumped the line and rode it over and over again until I was spotted, nabbed, and led back to my parents. It was a turning point in my life to see that the world wasn’t scary after all. There were two other things I distinctly remember from that trip: I was sadly whisked through the World Showcase when all I wanted was to explore every nook and cranny of it and I REALLY wanted a Mickey Mouse shaped Ice Cream Sandwich. With five children and a strong sense of equality of treatment, this would have been a costly endeavor for my young parents. 

Fast forward twenty seven years. Christmas time is approaching and all my siblings are preparing to spend their Happy Holidays off with the families of their spouse. I, being single, don’t really have an alternative to an empty house with just Mom and Dad, though I love them dearly. My childhood friend Madelene calls me up, “Heidi! Do you want to go to Disney World with us for Christmas?” Well, that was an easy yes. So I flew down to Orlando to join in the Holiday Festivities Disney style with my dear life long friends.  On Christmas Day we make plans to meet up at Epcot Center for lunch. After delicious Moroccan Cuisine, our group scatters and I find myself standing alone looking out over the World Showcase. It was my Christmas gift from God. He remembered my childhood wish and I explored every nook and cranny of those vignettes on my own terms and ended the glorious experience with none other than a Mickey Mouse shaped Ice Cream Sandwich. It is a gift I will never forget.

Thank you Disney for helping a young child see that all her dreams can come true.