A few thoughts on forgiveness

This is yet another topic that we have been discussing as part of my Conflict and Culture class. It is a fascinating one. In the scriptures, forgiveness seems like such a simple concept. We are told we are required to forgive all of our brothers and sisters and God will forgive whom he will. (D&C 64:10). So what exactly is forgiveness? It is defined by lds.org as letting go of the blame for an offense or misdeed done by another. Children are exceptional at forgiving. But we as adults tend to hold on to grudges that ruin our peace and keep our mind occupied. One way to tell that you have forgiven someone, in my opinion, is that it no longer spins around in your head mercilessly and the weight of the trouble is gone. I loved the comment given in class that some people view Hell not as a place but as a state of your soul. You cannot be at peace if there is a lack of forgiveness in your heart.

A distinction was also made in class between forgiveness and reconciliation. You can forgive someone and be done with that person, put them aside and not have any other dealings with them. Reconciliation is the renewal of a full relationship with that person. Interesting to note is that the Greek word that the word "Atonement" was coined to capture in the translation of the Bible into English was the word for "Reconciliation". Through Christ's sufferings, we aren't only forgiven of our sins, but our relationship with God becomes restored. Through much work of our own, covenants made with God powered by Christ's atonement, we can eventually be restored back to God's presence, reconciled fully. As we repent along the way, we are reconciled bit by bit with an increase in the Holy Ghost and peace in our hearts. Reconciliation is the most difficult thing to accomplish in this world. The cost for us to be reconciled to God is so great that it cost God His only begotten Son.

On a side note. I was contemplating the phrase "Prince of Peace" a few days ago, wondering why it says "Prince" and not "King". Surely this wasn't just a nice gesture of alliteration. Perhaps it is to draw attention by Christ, who always gave glory to His Father, that there is a "King" of peace. It is a Father and His Son. When you take time to think about that and all it implies it is very touching. I read, for class, of people in Mozambique who sought peace with their neighbors whom they had killed. As a peace offering, they would give up a child to the family of whom they had murdered a child.

It seems that the more we are able to feel the effects of the atonement in our own life, the more we are able to extend love towards others. This may be arguably untrue if you look at the parable of the rich man being forgiven his debt and then shortly thereafter not forgiving his servant of his debt. But, I think it is true that when you feel God's love through being forgiven, it is natural to want to extend that love to other people. The important ingredient that must be present, that obviously wasn't in the story of the man with the debts and the debtor, is the feeling of empathy we need to have. When we feel God's love for us, we can choose to allow that to feel empathy towards others.

We may not all go out and commit serious offenses against others, but lets face it. We all have weaknesses and do things that hurt others. Also, I have found it unjust to hold a person accountable and to blame for an offense in my heart if I did not approach that person and explain to them the truth of what happened from my own perspective. Half of the time I think others aren't aware of what we feel so strongly they did to wrong us.If we don't ever approach them or discover the truth, we may be stuck in holding in those awful feelings. The added inner animosity we have towards them in our hearts is perhaps the reason that we, the un-forgiver, hold the greater sin. We have the lesser portion of peace.

Learning how to forgive is a quest of a lifetime. It is perhaps one of the greatest things a person can master. Only through forgiving and loving and by the power of Christ that is involved in such, can we find a true peace on earth.