Make new friends but keep the old

Friend is one of those words that is thrown around in my vocabulary on a regular basis. But, as with many words in the English language, it seems to have lost its depth sometimes, or maybe it's meaning just changed. We ‘friend’ people we add on our facebook pages. While driving around crazy DC streets I’ll often call the faceless cars around me friend. I generally call people among who I associate friend.

But it is far more than just to push a button to ‘friend’ someone on facebook, say ‘hi’ in the hall, or know of someone else’s existence. And yet these are all part of being a friend. I also love meeting new people. I meet so many new people that I may wonder how is it possible to keep up with all of them? Then there are those friends who I don’t see for years at a time and the next time our paths cross, it’s like music to the soul.


I decided to put some thought into what really is a friend. “Each Life That Touches Ours for Good” is a great hymn whose title suggests one definition. Interestingly, a friend is not the people who one loves. I like to make comparisons. If the opposite of a friend is an enemy, that means, according to our first definition, an enemy would be someone who touches our lives for bad. Jesus taught us to love our enemies, which implies to me that a friend isn’t defined by our love for them. In the same verse, He uses some parallism teaching techniques that give us more definitions of an enemy:

God’s friends are those who support Him and do good to Him are those who keep the commandments: John 15:14 "Ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command of you."

Matthew 5:44 , Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

A friend then is someone who praises you, loves you, doesn't take advantage of you or your weaknesses and doesn't persecute you.

My favorite quote I ever heard on friendship was from George Elliott:

“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping , and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.” George Elliot

Revisiting 2012

Well its been quite the year starting on the European continent in my little house of Leeds, England, pond hopping to my beloved Hawaii with its sunshine and beaches, and ending back where my life all began in the shadow of the Wasatch mountains in Provo, Utah.  I enjoyed the slower pace of the British school system and in between my three classes on the Middle East, Peacekeeping and Peacebuilding, and Applied Conflict Resolution, I kept myself well rounded with some travels and trampings.  For work, I visited records offices and grave yards all around Yorkshire recording the names and taking photos of places connected to my Ancestors. Bradford, the town where my school was located, happens to be right where my Craven and Robinson lines are from. Every Wednesday I would enjoy some time with the fine folk at the Thornton Antiquarian Society who let me use their archive they had stored in the ladies toilet cabinet. I made wonderful friends there and learned a lot from their weekly lectures.

A dear friend in my ward, Starr Turner, became my adventure buddy. She, her four children, and I would jump in the car and go out into the countryside exploring. We visited Fountains Abbey (the richest Abbey ruins in Europe), Wensleydale cheese factory and Haws, Whitby, Bolton Abbey, great halls and through marvelous green fields bordered by mossy stone fences. These were tremendous times.

February included a fun trip to Paris France to visit my roommate Clio. I stayed in a beautiful Chateau almost to myself on the outskirts of Paris. I enjoyed Versailles (the world's third largest palace), walking around the Eiffel Tower, hovering about the Arc D'Triumph, visiting Montmarte, finding the most delightful book store "Shakespeare and Company" next to Notre Dame, and eating a genuine French dinner with Clio's local friends.  The baugette's, crepes, macaroons, and French onion soup was also heartily enjoyed on this short trip.

In March, I went to London for a few days and spend some time with friends: toured the city on Barclay bikes, visited Camden Market (a real gem filled with one of a kind knick knacks), Hampstead Heath, Keat's house, Hampton Court Palace (the world's fourth largest palace), and even watched "Singing in the Rain" in the West End. I had front row seats and got SOAKED as the actors kicked the fallen rain water from the stage into the audience. It was delightful.

My responsibility as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was to lead the 12-18 year olds in my congregation as their Young Womens President.  Every Tuesday night we had phenomenal activities: Battle of the sexes night, creating a music video night, a production of the plan of salvation, service to other ward members, and a teach us a skill you know night. These were but a few.  I loved watching them learn, their testimonies strengthened, and they in turn taught me.

I enjoyed several visitors while in England. My Uncle Jerry and Aunt Zuly met me in Hull where we did some family history work. My Great Grandmother Emily Atkinson on my mom's side was from there. We found the church where she was christened in the Church of England. It was right next to where her house would have been. I could almost see her playing hide and seek amidst the gravestones. Mom and Dad came to visit for my birthday! They were there two weeks in April and I gave them a whirlwind tour of Yorkshire and even took them up to Durham England where Dad's grandmother lived and joined the LDS Church. She had a favorite sunday school teacher that disappeared one day. When she inquired, she found that they had joined the Mormon Church. She went and found the missionaries. It was the teachings of the pre-existence that first rang true to her heart and, being disowned by her family, she left England and came to America.  We also visited Buckinghamshire with Starr's family and saw the grand estate of Waddesdon Manor and lived in a small farm converted Bed and Breakfast. In May, my two sisters Michelle and Julia came along with my Aunt DeAnn.  I gave them the tour and we also did lots of family history work.  Most memorable was the day we went to the records office two hours away in Beverly with some serious internal opposition but as soon as we found the Clark family, all of that went away. They are a very special bunch. We went on a church history tour of England that was also exciting and saw where the first missionaries and baptisms were in Preston. My Great Grandfather served his mission there so it was especially meaningful. We had amazing experiences and made wonderful memories on our work and play adventures.

Having finished all my classes and with some spiritual promptings that let me know I could go if I wanted to, I left England in the end of May the day after my sisters left. My friends had a farewell picnic at Kirkstall abbey and the Young Women had a tea party for me. I landed first in the good old USA capital city of Washington DC where my friend Steve picked me up at the airport and took me to Cheesecake factory with some of my closest DC friends for my first American meal in nine months. Brandon Lee told the waiter it was my birthday, not true, but they brought me a lit candle on icecream anyway. It was other friend's birthday so we celebrated for her by proxy.  I stayed with the Chyatte family who I used to live with. My friends Carl and Susan had a Crepe night party for me and friends as well. It was a spread to behold! I took a quick stop at the Library of Congress to get some materials for my thesis only to be found there, and then it was off to Provo for a quick change of luggage and hello before I flew to Hawaii.

June, July, and August went far too quickly. My first day on the beach back in the sun brought a burn, but also the most heavenly feeling of sunwarming that I hadn't felt for soooo long!! I did get my thesis written on community building and NGOs with the case study of Uganda. Hardly anyone read it but I learned a lot. My Dad asked once if I played or worked more. Definitely played. Its healthy. Back with my besties Cody and Josh and with good friends like Vickie, Seini, and Kealohi, my life was filled with adventure and fun. I visited Molokai with Kealohi and her family and got to ride the burros down to the leper colony.

In September I almost didn't leave, and an eye infection deterred me for another week so I couldn't leave. But, with tears, I hopped on another plane back to Utah.

October brought my Hawaii friends back as they came to Utah for General Conference. We drove the winding multi colored tree graced roads, played in pumpkin patches and Corn bins, and even took a ride up the ski lifts to enjoy the Fall foilage. It was a delight.

In November, I came back to Hawaii with the family for a trip to Ko Olina and Kauai. On the way to the airport, Dad told us that our beloved horse Jay died. When his previous owner sold him to us I remember him saying "You'd have to slit my throat to sell him but if it weren't for my family..." In tears he handed over the reins. I cried all the way to the airport and on the plane. Actually took turns from crying to smiling: "Jay Died. I'm going to Hawaii. Jay died. I'm going to Hawaii." Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Steve, and my two cousins Emily and Elizabeth were there with us. I'll never forget when after  some tragic news I received, Aunt Bonnie took me in her arms and held me. I love her. Dad won a two for one Helicopter Ride. He sent Michelle and me up. We made a great video for him as we soared over canyons and waterfalls.

I was planing on going to India for six months to work with Rising Star Outreach, a great organization that specializes in helping those in leper colonies be reintigrated back into society. They do so through children and schools. I was going to be a sponsor coordinator. I turned in my Visa application but what should have taken five days took a month and a half and my flight had to be cancelled. By the time my Visa arrived, flights were too expensive for me to go and if I went, I couldn't get back home. So I spent all of Christmas and into the New Year sitting before a lovely fireplace typing names into the computer from the Graveyards and records offices of England. A lot of wonderful people were remembered.

Let Art Talk

I'm currently writing a big long monstrous paper on how NGOs need to build 'social capital' ie community in the places they go. This means they need to basically support and then get out of the way while people heal through building trust and care again in their societies.  Some programs worked well in this regard. One of them, Let Art Talk, seemed especially good and I got a first hand glimpse of because my guide who took me to Gulu happened to be one of the people who worked on it, Vincent Okuja.

My Dreams Came True: A Disney Christmas Miracle

I have had the pleasure of visiting Disney World twice in my life. The first time was as a young child. I was seven years old. I remember myself as sometimes being very afraid of the world at that age. But all fear was gone when I rode “It’s a Small World After All.” My family and group lost me for the next long hour or so as I jumped the line and rode it over and over again until I was spotted, nabbed, and led back to my parents. It was a turning point in my life to see that the world wasn’t scary after all. There were two other things I distinctly remember from that trip: I was sadly whisked through the World Showcase when all I wanted was to explore every nook and cranny of it and I REALLY wanted a Mickey Mouse shaped Ice Cream Sandwich. With five children and a strong sense of equality of treatment, this would have been a costly endeavor for my young parents. 

Fast forward twenty seven years. Christmas time is approaching and all my siblings are preparing to spend their Happy Holidays off with the families of their spouse. I, being single, don’t really have an alternative to an empty house with just Mom and Dad, though I love them dearly. My childhood friend Madelene calls me up, “Heidi! Do you want to go to Disney World with us for Christmas?” Well, that was an easy yes. So I flew down to Orlando to join in the Holiday Festivities Disney style with my dear life long friends.  On Christmas Day we make plans to meet up at Epcot Center for lunch. After delicious Moroccan Cuisine, our group scatters and I find myself standing alone looking out over the World Showcase. It was my Christmas gift from God. He remembered my childhood wish and I explored every nook and cranny of those vignettes on my own terms and ended the glorious experience with none other than a Mickey Mouse shaped Ice Cream Sandwich. It is a gift I will never forget.

Thank you Disney for helping a young child see that all her dreams can come true.

New York: Ten Years Later

Ten years ago today I boarded a plane in NYC and landed in SLC Utah, becoming a returned missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints. The I love NY logo has always had an extra special meaning to me. I LOVE NY. Its people, its food, its fast pace, its multi-cultural overload. It was an awesome place to be a missionary. We taught people from every human inhabited continent. Every door was a new adventure. I heard only Temple Square is more international than the NY North mission.

This last week I had an awesome opportunity fall into my lap to go back. I stayed with my Jamaicans: Rose, Jabarie, Wadi, Taji, Marcus, Marie, Makai. I met Rose on the street one day in Yonkers and gave her a pass a long card. Two months later I was transfered to her area and she was referred to us by her friend. After our first visit she scheduled all of the lessons in the next two weeks and was baptized soon thereafter. I'll never forget when we asked her about her feelings after we told her about Joseph Smith and his prayer to know what to do and visitation by God the Father and Jesus Christ. She said "Oh yeah I believe that's true! Angels are real and can be seen sometimes. God can too." 

When I called the day before to ask Rose what she was doing tomorrow she said "oh I've got a crazy day why?" Cuz I might be able to come out. "Get over here then!" I love her. Jabarie came and picked me up in a car that Rose said "You can't miss him. It would be a miracle if there is a car louder than Jabarie's" 

Driving Manhattan in style

We cruised Manhattan in style and met up with some of his friends from Florida.  We shopped in Soho then ate at Lombardi's which is not only the first pizzaria in America, its been dubbed the best. After a divine meal we went and got the best Canoli's in the US at Ferreras.  But since its not an often occasion, dessert got double duty with a stop at the famous Baked by Melissa for some mini cupcakes. Driving around Manhattan in a sports car is a rush as we went through Times Square and past Grand Central Station and zoomed it down some little side streets. The one ride we took on the subway I was touched by an African man who was getting off, saw Jabarie's metro card wasn't working, and swiped his own so that he could get in. I love these people. 

The next day I hung out with Rose at her day car. She had kids from all over the world and they were soooo cute!! Before lunch we took a walk through my old area with a few children in tow. There were so many houses where I'd stood on the steps with my companion. I saw my old landlord Jimmy. He remembered when we missionaries ran the car into the side of the building. He asked me to send his best wishes to my companions. 

Taji took me for a NY Deli sandwich for lunch. We passed the stop sign that is now in place where I totalled a car. That was the one the taxi driver sued me for a million bucks. Didn't go through though.  Still, an intersection is improved now.  

I stopped by Rosenell's house. She lives in some projects. Not remembering exactly where she lived I went over to some nice African American ladies on a bench and asked if they knew where the deaf ladies lived in the building. They looked at me like I was crazy for being there, but as most NYer's do, warmed up when they found I was nice. Rosenel didn't recognize me but let me come in when I told her I'd been a Mormon missionary there. She had me write my name and address on a paper which she carefully looked over with her big magnifying glass. Then she went from cold to: "AHHHHHHH!!! I know you!! You were companions with the other Sister Johnson!" She was sooo excited!! Rosenel is deaf and lives too far away from the deaf branch to go there. She went to church for several years for all three meetings not hearing a word. Her reading level is low, yet she reads voraciously. I interpreted for her when I was in her ward. She shared a graham cracker and her testimony with me. What and amazing person she is.

Nothing like some Zumba before dinner, Rose, Marie, Makai and I headed downtown Ossining for some exercise. BEST ZUMBA CLASS EVER!!! These New Yorkers can dance! I enjoyed being the tall white girl in the back of the class trying to keep up and copy those moves. SO FUN!

For dinner, Rose took us all out for Hibachi at the Okinawa Steak House. Food shows at their finest, there was flying egg for us to catch in our mouths, an onion volcano, and lots of flaming grilling going on.  

Early Wednesday morning I was back on a flight headed home to SLC. What a gift to have been back. The Church is true. The gospel of Jesus Christ is real and powerful. Far more than a stop sign or finding new friends, sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ deeply changed lives, including mine. He is the same Savior for all the people all over the world and He loves them all. I loved being a part of that love. And I LOVE NY.

The Hallowed Grounds of Martin's Cove

I've been to Martin's Cove long ago, looked over the graves, tied burlap to my feet and walked up Rocky Ridge, and camped near the gravesite along the creek. This was not a new experience for me, yet it was a renewal of my appreciation of the amazing pioneer heritage shared by the members of the Mormon church.  I went on a road trip with my sister Katie and her six lil tikes through Wyoming. We drove past Martin's Cove, a particularly significant site in Mormon Pioneer history where the Martin Handcart company sheltered under the early winter storms. Late leaving England, late starting their trek across the plains due to many set backs, they had a lot against them. The story is a sad one with many deaths, yet many more survived than died even though they ate 1/2 cup of flour a day and had burned all their extra blankets to lightened their loads before the snow hit. Freezing and hungry yet with the aid of many rescuers from the Salt Lake Valley hundreds of miles away, they made it through. There was a hallowed feeling even from the freeway. We stopped and visited on our way back. One of my favorite parts was when the guide asked if there were any deer hunters among our group. My niece Diana raised her hand. Curious. She said "We killed a deer with our car" and looked at me. Indeed I'd hit one a few days before that did much more damage to the car than the deer. It was funny!! Especially when you consider I'm the girl who dropped out of the hunter safety course just before the shooting range cuz the guns scared me.
Three of our ancestors crossed the plains by handcart. In the Willie Handcart company, which was a little ahead of the Martin, were Ann Herbert came with her sister Hannah and her son Charles. Ann lost most of her toes.  Hannah is thought to have been a stow away on the boat from England and then married one of the company at the start of the trail to secure funding to go. Character. Ann married Andrew Jackson Rynearson when she got to the valley. He had run away from home, prayed to know where to go and followed his feelings right into Brigham Young's wagon train in 1847. That's how he came to find the Mormon Church.
It was a very deeply moving moment to stop and reflect on what they had done. These people went through soo much to follow the leaders of the Church and come to Zion. It made me think that the small sacrifices I make to live the gospel are really quite insignificant in comparison and the blessings are far more than anything we may go through to get them.

 The Handcart

 The typical bundle of a woman's belongings packed for the trip

"Francis Webster was a survivor of the Martin Handcart Company who found spiritual strength from what e endured on the plains in 1856.  In his old age, he spoke of the journey during an adult Sunday School class discussion about the ill-fated handcart companies. In 1943 William R. Palmer wrote his memories of what Francis Webster had said:

"He (Francis WEbster) said in substance..."I was in that company and my wife was in it...we suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation...we came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities. 

I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and have said "I can go only that far and there I must give up for I cannot pull my load through it" I have gone on to that sand and when I have reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there. 

Was I sorry I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor one moment of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay and I am thankful I was privileged to come to Zion in the Martin Handcart company"

Diana pointing to Ann, Hannah, and Charles Herberts names

Months to Days, Days to Hours, Hours to Minutes...to Moments

It amazes me how this thing call time, this business only measured by man, moves forward. I think God doesn't measure by time because I think he measures by moments instead. Recently I've been feeling the significance of moments  more acutely.  A hymn I love echoes my feelings well: 

Time flies on wings of lightning;

We cannot call it back.

It comes, then passes forward

Along its onward track.

And if we are not mindful,

The chance will fade away,

For life is quick in passing.

’Tis as a single day.

Improve the Shining Moments #226

Sometimes in life I can't wait for things to go more quickly: a cold winter, end of school, start of a new experience. But there's something about the here and now, the moments that are happening right now and their incredible orchestration and temporary-ness that strikes me lately as being vital not to miss. I guess in part it comes from having so many changes, or perhaps time crunches. To give a small window into why this is so present with me let me describe the past few days. I'm leaving town soon. I decided to spend the night yesterday at my sister's house to enjoy my nieces and nephews before I leave. Practically on the way out the door I learned it was my Sister in Laws birthday and they were eating at a restaurant for dinner right then. I almost just went straight to my sister's house but decided to go with my full stomach and stop in to say hello at their food table. There was my mom and family sitting down to eat in a very routine, ordinary way, but to me it was priceless because I won't get to be part of that for awhile. This morning, after a great time with my sister I found out my mother had been admitted to the hospital today. I went to see her. She's quickly improving and will be alright though it was an unexpected jolt on the system. At one point I had to go stand  in the sparkly sterile hall while the nurse was helping my mom. A  man with teary eyes walked out of the room next door. He came up to me and said, "It's a hard thing to see your brother die. All the memories and times together..." He only had a short time to live. The only thing I could think of to say was "it sounds like you lived to the fullest and took advantage of the moments you had." I went back into my mom's room where we sang songs and had a good laugh. Each moment is sooo precious. Opportunities don't last forever.  Live each moment fully because its the moments that make life full. 

Its the marriages that make the nations

I've been enjoying doing a fair amount family history work and came across this paragraph in a booklet that is about my Routh line. I have never seen a more carefully documented line by people over the centuries. Here's a family who treasures each other deeply. The man who wrote this was the recipient of many documents that had been preserved and I found his view of the place marriage should have in society refreshing and true. It's really about the quality of marriages, the true quality of love and successful relationships instead of wealth and position, that show how a family fits into society. I loved it.


"Well, I have had my say, and would only add this, that I hope eventually to
compile an index of marriages showing both the names of those families into which
we have married, and of those families which have married into ours through the
centuries. 1 regard this as one of the most interesting featurcs of any family tree: it is
not only by the number of eminent men produced by a familyand we have produced
our fair share of great men, warriors, knights, Crusaders, Bishops and Divines, Chief Justices and Judges, Admirals, Generals and men of Letters and of Sciencenor by its
revenues (which were worth something like half a million pounds sterling per year in
modern currency, in the time of that Elizabeth Routh, ward in Chancery, who in 1500
married Sir John Cutts, Treasurer of the King's Household, carrying with her all the
estates of the main line of the Rouths of Routh) that a family can best be judged; what
gives a truer index to worth than either of these is the marriages it makes; for these
show, over a period, more clearly than wealth, rank, spasmodic outbursts of
brilliancy, or any other single factor, the true worth and position of a family in the
history of a nation."

The Ridiculous Outfit Challenge

 Yesterday I went shopping and had a moment of realization at Ross. You see, there are certain stores that bring out a certain side of my personality, or perhaps just my shopping tendencies. Ross is one of them. I realized that when going into a store, even though I'm looking for good clothes to buy to take home and use in real life, I will almost always jump into the mode of the ridiculous outfit challenge.




Perhaps it comes from fun times growing up in a family who loved to dress up and don't always take life too seriously. Here's my dad even in on the fun. Finding costumes in museums was a must use. These are some of the more mild ones too. In stores,  my sisters and I will scour the racks of items looking for that perfect outfit of ridiculousness. It could include accessories and many different layers and items. We then would take these back to the dressing room and try them on, bursting into giggles. 

This picture captures some of our silliness. The one below is a card we found in a store that exemplifies the sense of humor often found in our house. It reads: "Take a good look at this shirt and then be grateful that I only bought you a card"

 Here is actual footage from our last ridiculous outfit challenge held in England in May this year.















 I worried my friends as I searched out for such clothes and kept bringing them out to show them. I did explain what I was doing but they kept thinking  that I was serious about buying these clothes. (This is a legitimate concern for the serious shopper who goes into a store only looking for clothes to take home). We did take some fashionable finds back to the dressing room and have a "what not to wear" moment of critique which was fun. But I think I shall always enjoy a good ridiculous outfit. 

England Endearments

 Winston Churchill once said of America and England that they are two great countries separated by one common language. And its not just the accent, though accents here are very distinct and, though we have our regional accents in the US, they seem to be more defining  of who you are and where you're from.

Several have asked me, "so what's different out there from America?" The answer: a lot. It's a whole lot of little things. Just about everything imaginable has its own English way about it. I thought I'd write up a few and give you a peek of the world across the Atlantic.There's the obvious of course. People drive on the left instead of the right. The driver sits in the car on the right instead of the left. Most of the cars are manual with the stick in the left hand rather than the right. (This is why after three driving lessons, I don't drive here).  The plugs are different and a different wattage. The little switches that turn the power socket on and off remind me of light switches and I still don't know why they have them.

In the kitchen, the electric kettles are AMAZING!! No longer need I wait for 15 minutes for water to boil. The first time I saw my roommate boil water in the electric kettle and THEN place it over her pasta in the pan on the stove I was sold.I still haven"t figured out oven temperatures.


 Walking down the street one morning I passed a stranger.  Shattering the silence of the moment was a cheery "Good morning Darling!", spoken as if by Mary Poppin's Bert himself. What delight!! I remember the first time I heard "thanks love" on the train from the ticket man. I was taken aback but at the same time quite tickled inside with the warm salutation.  So many new phrases have enhanced my communication options. Instead of "have a turn," its "have a go." A common one is "get yourself sorted" which is so much more than a phrase but an actual attitude here of making sure you take the time to get everything situated before proceeding ahead. (A concept a fast paced American can greatly appreciate). "I can't be bothered" is another favorite. Its said anytime something isn't seen as a priority to be done. "I'm not bothered" is a great way of saying "no problem." When at the pool, the ladies in my lane talk losing two or three "stone" instead how many pounds. A stone is 13-14 pounds. Make sure and DO NOT jump the queue (or line) here because, in England, the lines on the highway, bus stop, grocery store, are something you don't mess with. Brits love to queue up. Common phrases come up in conversations regularly such as "to be fair..." Then there's 'cheers' which came from the army where they would bang glasses and the person with a coin in his cup would have to go fight the next day. It means a lot of things including thanks, and 'bye." You've never had vegetables until you try the English "Veg" (pronounced 'vedge'). Not only are they lacking in a lot of that spray stuff Americans use, here they know how to cook them to perfection. Very tasty. Perhaps its the proximity to France? Britain takes English to a whole new level on the love language scale. Terms like 'ducky' and 'lish' (placed after someone's name), in addition to the loves and darlings make the place liveable despite the awful weather. In addition to new sounds, words, and phrases, social interaction is different here. You may have heard that the Brits are reserved and don't show much emotion. They make up for it in the words they use to express that emotion. They are expressing geniuses! No wonder so much great literature came from here. The amount that they say for what I might say with a few peeps of intense passion (a few squeals and such)  is intriguing. I actually found it exhausting to stay mentally engaged with all of the chatter when I first arrived. 

Education is different. Gone are the days of insanity, always being given way more work than you can muster in the time you have. Here, I had three two-hour classes a week, a library, and the assignment to write a long essay for each at the end of the semester. It doesn't mean that we don't work hard. I read a 400 page textbook in the first week this semester. We have to hunt down the materials.  Its all about pacing yourself in a self directed search for the answer to an essay question you picked from a list. Though I did have some assigned reading assignments the first semester, mostly it was up to me with a bit of help from a very long suggested reading list.

The pub is a new concept. Its not so much a tavern nor a bar as it is what its name means "the public house." Its a place to go and be with the community, eat a meal, and share a story. They are family friendly, though, some more than others. I've gotten many a meal, drink of water, and use of the restroom from the local pubs. The pub owners used to be the most knowledgeable men in town because  all day they would  listen to everyone's gossip, (and I told you about the chatter).

The people are friendly and real, the countryside is gorgeous, the castles, estates, and abbeys are fun,  and the small villages, what we would call post card perfect, look, as they say,  'chocolate box perfect.' By the way, they do have good chocolate, though I don't often buy it.  I do like England.

Nope for me on the Kony campaign

So this campaign online right now has the aim of making Kony famous to the world in order to get him arrested and end the conflict in Uganda. I do not consider myself to be an expert, but I have been to Uganda, and interacted face to face with former child soldiers, aid workers, and community members there. 

Let's start with the positive. Awareness has been raised of a very serious problem. That's good. I think that the approach to seek out policy members who can affect change and cultural carriers who are famous to get on board is a good approach for a mission of getting the word out there and beginning to tackle the problem. I commend effort. However, far more needs to happen than that. In fact, the more I really think about the details of this one, the more I don't like it.

Bear with me as I pull out my critic card. It's not something I do openly on a regular basis as I grew up in a world where I was taught cynics don't contribute. But it is also important to have a brain. I think it is important to get all of the facts and not just let the emotional tug play on one's heart. The campaign movie is geared to arouse one's emotions. Yes, Kony is a VERY evil man and must be stopped. I agree with this. However, I have reservations about this method and organization.

The first red flag to me is the amount of money that the 'kits' cost. To pay $25 for a T-shirt or $225 for an everything kit of a few T-shirts, a bracelet, and some fliers is a bit extreme. Obviously they need funding but there is no transparency here of where the money is going.  Surely, that much money could be used to do A LOT of good if put in the right program with the right outcomes. I think it should be fair for anyone giving to a cause to know exactly where that money is going. But this campaign has not explained that. While I was in Uganda, my guide told me that allegedly one of the head staff of 'Invisible Children' had been calling Kony on the cellphone and was believed to be in kahoots with him. Aid does bring in a lot of money and that money can be used to support what you do not want it to support. Kony and Muesevni both know that aid money is a great resource for supporting their war objectives. I am wary of this.

Secondly, Kony is not currently in Uganda. When I was there in July, he had not been in Uganda for three years. He is in the Congo. Though he threatens to come back to Uganda, you want Koney? Go to the Congo. The footage is old.

Thirdly, What message is this campaign actually saying? Remember my previous comment about the alleged calls between Kony and Invisible Children. Isn't fame one of the things terrorists want? I find it disturbing to see the name of such an evil man posted on a campaign flier next to "Obama 2012". It looks like he is running for President. If you want the message to stop Kony, don't use a sign type and slogan that the world sees as a message of seeking supporters and votes. Say "Stop Kony Now" not "Kony 2012". This gives me the creeps. And with that in mind, no I wouldn't want his name on my wrist or in my yard or on my wall. Ewwwwwwww!

Lastly, There is a lot more that needs done than just arresting one man. This is so much more than a military matter, which is their route for fixing the problem.  When I was in Gulu there were 500 NGO's registered there and some mentioned that there are a whole lot of aid workers running around and not necessarily a whole lot of things getting done. There were some great things I saw. One was a school called Laroo that was funded by the Belgium government that was for war affected children. I saw a different school up the road that received no aid and the stark contrast was stunning. This wasn't only in their resources, but the educational abilities of the children were vastly better in the aided school. There's a ton of money and effort already being pumped into the system. It just needs better coordination of effort to eliminate waste. Children have been being reintegrated back into their community and programs have helped people back to their homes.But there is corruption and aid needs to be done right, and often it is not. There is no mention in the video of any of the good that these people have already done for the people of Uganda save the one boy coming to the US to speak and being befriended. Where is the evidence of their work thus far? What good have they been doing with all the money they have gathered? And why aren't they showing that? And again, what are their specific plans that they have in mind to do with all that money they will bring in?

These are my initial thoughts on the matter. Of course more facts and research can be done on it. But for right now, I am, without apathy to the conflict, steering clear of this route. I shall go find my "wise as a serpent yet harmless as a dove" route somewhere else.

Poetry from the English Countryside

As I was searching through some old books I came across these poems that I really liked. They were written by a man who lived in Clayton, Yorkshire, England:

Musings of Field and Hearth in Verse by Sherwin, 1905

Why Look for Sorrow

Why should man look forth in sorrow
To a dark and drear tomorrow,
With blighted hopes, in frambling fear
To bring an absent terror near?
Should no the prospects of today
His self-made fears and doubtings stay,
To value what he now doth own;
He may ne'er see the morrow dawn,
But 't seems man's discontented lot,
To fret o'er what he has not got,
To waste the prospects of today
A-thinking what the morrow may.

My Humble Lot

I would not change my humble lot
For riches nor wealth
So long as I as now am blest
With happiness and health

There's not a bird so gay and free
And fleet upon the wing,
That can more light and happy be
How gaily it doth sing

I range amid Earth's fairest scenes
With glad and grateful heart
In humbleness and honesty
With which I do m part

And when at night I lay me down
To take refreshing rest.
My dreams are of the sweetest, far
My sleep is of the blest

There many be who nod at me,
With wealth at their command
Who live in lavish luxury,
With plenty waiting round

If they with me should seek to change,
I would not take their place,
With ticing follies smiling there
Perchance I could not face.

Christmas Tidbits

It's quite a change going from warmth and beaches for Christmas to the cold and mossy streets of England. Though there's less light in the sky here, the Christmas Season Light still shines brightly. One thing I have enjoyed here is getting the scoop on some Christmas happenings. Here's a few things I've come across you might enjoy: -Silent Night was composed in 1818 in Austria. The organ broke down Christmas Eve and, unable to find an organ mechanic, the local band was invited to play the music and compased the song "Silent Night." Because it was a band, the original score was a lot more lively. I heard it played the other day. So much more happening in the base line that would have been played by the guitar. More like a dance of glee actually. -Mistletoe only grows during this time of year on certain trees. That's why it's magical.

-Some Christmas carols are sung here with different tunes. Carols actually used to be banned from Church and only sung in the pubs. "While Shepherds Watched their flocks by Night" was the first one sung in Church because it referenced the Bible. -The idea of Holy and Ivy being brought into the house was to show a place of refuge there until Spring. -The Yule Log was a large log that was supposed to burn for 12 days, through Christmas. -Figgy Pudding was stirred on "stir-up Sunday" and was always stirred from East to West, as a reminder of the Three wise men traveling from the East. It had 13 ingredients to represent Jesus and the 12 Apostles. -Christmas Cards came from the idea of Valentines Day cards and were originally sent only to family members and close friends that were not seen on a regular basis and not going to be seen during the holidays. Originally they were not decorated Christmas scenes. -The Christmas Tree originated in Germany. Lights on the tree did too. The idea came from a German man looking up into the night sky in the fir tree forest and seeing the stars through the boughs. The candles were attempt at recreating this stunning effect. Those flaming candles were actually quite safe as the wood was too wet to burn.They originally had a star on top. An angel was added to show that it was the star of Bethlehem. -Before the Victorian period there was no emphasis on the Children like today (which is a very fun part) but instead the general practice still important of "Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men."

Glass Art and a Mormon Temple

Thomas Holdman is an incredibly talented man. His glass art, a beautiful advanced form of stain glass windows, can be found in several of the Temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Any of these magnificent edifices would be an honor to have a work of art placed therein, but to add to the specialness, his work is found in historically rich Temples such as Nauvoo, Winter Quarters, and one close to my heart: Manhattan. Every time I walk into the doors of the Manhattan Temple I am in awe of the beautiful art glass piece of the Savior that greets me there. I met Brother Holdman once. It was at the Annual Brigham Young University Banquet for the University Accessibility Center. The Center, which runs to assist those with disabilities in their studies, holds the banquet to honor those who have achieved great things despite great odds. I worked there for four years as an interpreter for the Deaf. Our speaker this particular year was none other than Thomas Holdman. In addition to his incomparable talent and gift for glass art, he has been graced with a significantly stuttering voice. Through his halting but captivating words he shard his story of preparing the glass art for the Temples. For some reason it was on my mind today. He had many volunteers working under him to create the masterpieces on the limited time schedule. One day, he had become really frustrated with the lack of quality and skill of the volunteers. As he stormed about in his fury of their imperfect work unworthy of a Temple, God spoke to him: "My people are more important than glass art." The true grandeur of the Temple wasn't in the building of the greatest quality edifice but in building the greatest quality and most beautiful people. God was molding them as they worked on His house. It was a powerful message in a powerful setting that has had a large influence on me. Never let the task at hand be of greater importance than the people it is meant to bless.

Thanksgiving in the UK

It's just like any other day, almost. I went to the grocery store this morning to find some pumpkin to find that it's officially out of season here and isn't sold anywhere in either fresh or canned form. Big dinners will happen this weekend amongst other celebratory Americans. Today I do my homework and go to class as normal, except for the electrifying energy which may just be part of my own little inner world. The true essence of Thanksgiving is gratitude and that is something today is not lacking. The sun is shining and its so warm outside that a coat is almost too much. (This is a BIG deal for someone who moved from Hawaii with fear of the winter.) I eat well everyday, including hot chocolate with the yummiest of cream and regular chocolate that is so easy to get here. I love the lack of high fructose corn syrup in my food. I love my room and my window. I love the jolly people of England. I am super thankful for Skype, Facebook, and Google+ hangouts to keep in touch with family and friends who are life's greatest treasures. I love the flowers that grow outside my house. I am learning new things at school. It's great having so many international people from so many places in my classes. I love my bus and rail pass that takes me anywhere in West Yorkshire. Above all, I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the hope and peace it offers the World. Through it, God reaches out to all His children to lift, bless, heal, and bring joy to their lives. Along this note, I am also grateful for Family History work and all the records left behind by those who went before who now hope that someone like me will come along and find them. It's the best. I love the "you found me!" feeling. I love the Temple where their work can be done to reunite them with their loved ones. There is much to be grateful for today in England.

Summertime 2011 The Condensed Travel Log

May: Went on a two week Mediterranean Cruise filled with Elderly people from England. Us four single kids in the family enjoyed taking over the positive youth activities of the ship all to ourselves. Mom and Dad brought us along for a very nice ride. We then spent a week in England and a week and a half touring the continent. All together we visited ten countries. I know, I'm spoiled. June: In Utah with the family. The entire immediate family. Quite a feat when at least two of us rarely make an appearance in the state of Utah due to travel costs and distant living locations. We went to Aspen Grove Family Camp which was an every summer favorite growing up. This time, we enjoyed some old favorite activities such as the ropes course and arts and crafts center in addition to witnessing the new growing up generation participate for the first time. My mission President and his wife were there the same week celebrating their 50th. I learned things about them I'd never known before. Love 'em. July: In Uganda with two of my closest childhood friends: the twins Madelene and Serena and their family. From the days of playing house under their raised deck came a threesome of friends who know each other so well there couldn't be any pretense there if we tried. We had all matured but we were all distinctly us. After twenty years apart it was neat to realize that. We safaried on the Nile and wildlife reserve, were guests of honor at a celebratory banquet in a rural village (National Geographic would have had a hard time capturing that moment), rode mopeds called boda bodas fearlessly through some mean traffic, and had incredible discussions amongst ourselves and with others on issues third world countries face. I went up North to the war affected area of Gulu with a local guide. There I was able to meet some of the former child soldiers and other war affected children. They filled out workbooks and wrote letters to children in America. They were really delightful people. The last bit, I went white water rafting in the Nile. August: Straight from Africa, I flew in to Hawaii into the loving arms of my Hawaiian Ohana. They greeted me with leis and a welcome home tea party. But that was just the beginning. We then spent the next month on beaches, at the water park, at a spiritual feast of a YSA conference, at ono restaurants, in thrift stores, at game nights, at Luaus, and just on Oahu enjoying the beauties of dear people, nature, and fun. I did a two week course at BYUH training to be an Arbinger facilitator. Except for that enjoyable and self-reflective work, life was so at ease. I loved it. I loved walking down the street and knowing the people I passed. I loved being back in my most recent place of 'home".  I could stay there forever. But such for now is not to be. I will be back. September: After a fond farewell and much Aloha, I left Hawaii and flew to Utah for three days. There I visited family, a mission companion, and many of my old clothes while I packed. Then it was off to Manchester England! I was picked up by some friends who I met in Uganda. I stayed with them for almost a week until I secured a place to live. The world has some truly awesome people in it. That brings me to where I am now. I will be studying at Bradford University getting and MA in Conflict Resolution starting September 26th. Although every time I tell people I moved here from Hawaii technically and they give me the stunned amazement 'how could you do such a thing" response, everyday I find something exciting I like about it. So here goes. Another big adventure ahead but this one will keep me occupied for awhile. Of course, if you know me, a trip to England means genealogy. I'm looking forward to spending the time outside of school and play doing what I love to do, I'll be found in the cemeteries and records office hunting down my roots. In a way, I feel very much like I am home.

A few thoughts on forgiveness

This is yet another topic that we have been discussing as part of my Conflict and Culture class. It is a fascinating one. In the scriptures, forgiveness seems like such a simple concept. We are told we are required to forgive all of our brothers and sisters and God will forgive whom he will. (D&C 64:10). So what exactly is forgiveness? It is defined by lds.org as letting go of the blame for an offense or misdeed done by another. Children are exceptional at forgiving. But we as adults tend to hold on to grudges that ruin our peace and keep our mind occupied. One way to tell that you have forgiven someone, in my opinion, is that it no longer spins around in your head mercilessly and the weight of the trouble is gone. I loved the comment given in class that some people view Hell not as a place but as a state of your soul. You cannot be at peace if there is a lack of forgiveness in your heart.

A distinction was also made in class between forgiveness and reconciliation. You can forgive someone and be done with that person, put them aside and not have any other dealings with them. Reconciliation is the renewal of a full relationship with that person. Interesting to note is that the Greek word that the word "Atonement" was coined to capture in the translation of the Bible into English was the word for "Reconciliation". Through Christ's sufferings, we aren't only forgiven of our sins, but our relationship with God becomes restored. Through much work of our own, covenants made with God powered by Christ's atonement, we can eventually be restored back to God's presence, reconciled fully. As we repent along the way, we are reconciled bit by bit with an increase in the Holy Ghost and peace in our hearts. Reconciliation is the most difficult thing to accomplish in this world. The cost for us to be reconciled to God is so great that it cost God His only begotten Son.

On a side note. I was contemplating the phrase "Prince of Peace" a few days ago, wondering why it says "Prince" and not "King". Surely this wasn't just a nice gesture of alliteration. Perhaps it is to draw attention by Christ, who always gave glory to His Father, that there is a "King" of peace. It is a Father and His Son. When you take time to think about that and all it implies it is very touching. I read, for class, of people in Mozambique who sought peace with their neighbors whom they had killed. As a peace offering, they would give up a child to the family of whom they had murdered a child.

It seems that the more we are able to feel the effects of the atonement in our own life, the more we are able to extend love towards others. This may be arguably untrue if you look at the parable of the rich man being forgiven his debt and then shortly thereafter not forgiving his servant of his debt. But, I think it is true that when you feel God's love through being forgiven, it is natural to want to extend that love to other people. The important ingredient that must be present, that obviously wasn't in the story of the man with the debts and the debtor, is the feeling of empathy we need to have. When we feel God's love for us, we can choose to allow that to feel empathy towards others.

We may not all go out and commit serious offenses against others, but lets face it. We all have weaknesses and do things that hurt others. Also, I have found it unjust to hold a person accountable and to blame for an offense in my heart if I did not approach that person and explain to them the truth of what happened from my own perspective. Half of the time I think others aren't aware of what we feel so strongly they did to wrong us.If we don't ever approach them or discover the truth, we may be stuck in holding in those awful feelings. The added inner animosity we have towards them in our hearts is perhaps the reason that we, the un-forgiver, hold the greater sin. We have the lesser portion of peace.

Learning how to forgive is a quest of a lifetime. It is perhaps one of the greatest things a person can master. Only through forgiving and loving and by the power of Christ that is involved in such, can we find a true peace on earth.

Stereotypes

This was a moment of thought I had last semester where I went into a typing frenzy. I thought I'd post it anyway:

One of the most dehumanizing things we do to each other in this world is stereotyping. We are almost taught to do this. In literature, a teacher may ask us to make assumptions about a certain character based on only a few facts. When we see someone is of a different race, culture, locality, or group we have an automatic tendency to assume that they have certain characteristics of that group. There are general characteristics, but to assume that everyone fully exhibits them is an error. When we do so, we take away the unique richness of that individual. Stereotyping can be more subtle than ‘the Asians are this way and the Germans are that way.” We all do it. It is in more common comments such as “girls are complicated and boys are dumb.” Dating rules and assumptions that go along with them are some nasty culprits. Or we can make a judgment on a person based off of someone else’s opinion. We should stop and think, is that person really an expert on this particular individual? Do they really know what makes them click, their worldviews, culture, needs, experiences, and values? No, they don’t. No two people have exactly the same make up. We are aware of this and see it in the known fact that siblings raised in the same family can be totally different. So why do we assume that people raised in the same religion, same profession, same gender group, or same anything are truly the same? Comments like “your just like this or just like that person” are red flags. We encourage stereotypes by communicating with less and less words using text, and facebook ‘like’ buttons that are convenient but lack depth. We do not know why a person likes something, only that they do. I’m not saying that these tools are all bad. I use them and am glad to have them, but it is important to be able to share in more detail what we are thinking.

I played a little game a few weeks ago where I decided to pay attention very carefully to what I said and catch any stereotypes, or general assumptions of a group of people, popping out of my mouth. Within five minutes I had caught myself at least twenty times in a conversation with a friend. We both laughed about it but it was a sad discovery. You may even find a few stereotypes in this post.

The flip side to judging other people is encouraging stereotypes upon ourselves by assuming that other people know who we are and what we are thinking. I am reminded of an experience I had with a girl I babysat. It had been about a year into living with this delightful Jewish family when I was tucking her in bed one night and as I did she said, “can I talk to you for a minute?” in a very serious tone. My response was a simple, “Sure.” She started, “You know, there’s a little I don’t know about my mom, but there is a whole lot I don’t know about you. Tell me some things about you and pick the best ones because you have a whole lot of options.” I then rattled off a few surface things such as “I like horses, singing and books.” and then said, “the two most important things to me are family and God.” She responded with, “ I never knew that!” This strangely surprised me. I didn’t talk with these children about religion except what was in the Old Testament out of respect for their parent’s wishes to avoid confusion. But I had assumed that she would just know from my actions what I believed or valued. This shows me that not only do we need to avoid stereotyping others, but we need to not assume that people know everything about us.

I was reading recently in the Book of Ether about the Brother of Jared praying that his family and friends language could be spared confounding so they could understand each other. What an important need that is! Of course, language is limited, but it is a great gift from God to allow us to have mutual understanding and learn from each other. Its learning how to express ourselves and understand others that is the tricky part. I remember a fireside in the MTC that I went to where Elder Scott spoke on the Gift of Tongues. “The spirit given gift of tongues is not just the increased ability to learn language, he said, it is the ability to have heart to heart communication” This doesn’t always happen. It takes practice to develop this gift, language ability, and slow deliberate judgment so we can truly know what is going on with another person. We have to express who we are, which can be tricky, but if we don’t we are allowing erroneous judgments towards us to be spread. Next time we are ready to make a hasty judgment towards someone, stop and ask the deepening whys, whats, and hows about them to uncover new insights we may have missed at first blush.