Make new friends but keep the old

Friend is one of those words that is thrown around in my vocabulary on a regular basis. But, as with many words in the English language, it seems to have lost its depth sometimes, or maybe it's meaning just changed. We ‘friend’ people we add on our facebook pages. While driving around crazy DC streets I’ll often call the faceless cars around me friend. I generally call people among who I associate friend.

But it is far more than just to push a button to ‘friend’ someone on facebook, say ‘hi’ in the hall, or know of someone else’s existence. And yet these are all part of being a friend. I also love meeting new people. I meet so many new people that I may wonder how is it possible to keep up with all of them? Then there are those friends who I don’t see for years at a time and the next time our paths cross, it’s like music to the soul.


I decided to put some thought into what really is a friend. “Each Life That Touches Ours for Good” is a great hymn whose title suggests one definition. Interestingly, a friend is not the people who one loves. I like to make comparisons. If the opposite of a friend is an enemy, that means, according to our first definition, an enemy would be someone who touches our lives for bad. Jesus taught us to love our enemies, which implies to me that a friend isn’t defined by our love for them. In the same verse, He uses some parallism teaching techniques that give us more definitions of an enemy:

God’s friends are those who support Him and do good to Him are those who keep the commandments: John 15:14 "Ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command of you."

Matthew 5:44 , Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.

A friend then is someone who praises you, loves you, doesn't take advantage of you or your weaknesses and doesn't persecute you.

My favorite quote I ever heard on friendship was from George Elliott:

“Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping , and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.” George Elliot

Revisiting 2012

Well its been quite the year starting on the European continent in my little house of Leeds, England, pond hopping to my beloved Hawaii with its sunshine and beaches, and ending back where my life all began in the shadow of the Wasatch mountains in Provo, Utah.  I enjoyed the slower pace of the British school system and in between my three classes on the Middle East, Peacekeeping and Peacebuilding, and Applied Conflict Resolution, I kept myself well rounded with some travels and trampings.  For work, I visited records offices and grave yards all around Yorkshire recording the names and taking photos of places connected to my Ancestors. Bradford, the town where my school was located, happens to be right where my Craven and Robinson lines are from. Every Wednesday I would enjoy some time with the fine folk at the Thornton Antiquarian Society who let me use their archive they had stored in the ladies toilet cabinet. I made wonderful friends there and learned a lot from their weekly lectures.

A dear friend in my ward, Starr Turner, became my adventure buddy. She, her four children, and I would jump in the car and go out into the countryside exploring. We visited Fountains Abbey (the richest Abbey ruins in Europe), Wensleydale cheese factory and Haws, Whitby, Bolton Abbey, great halls and through marvelous green fields bordered by mossy stone fences. These were tremendous times.

February included a fun trip to Paris France to visit my roommate Clio. I stayed in a beautiful Chateau almost to myself on the outskirts of Paris. I enjoyed Versailles (the world's third largest palace), walking around the Eiffel Tower, hovering about the Arc D'Triumph, visiting Montmarte, finding the most delightful book store "Shakespeare and Company" next to Notre Dame, and eating a genuine French dinner with Clio's local friends.  The baugette's, crepes, macaroons, and French onion soup was also heartily enjoyed on this short trip.

In March, I went to London for a few days and spend some time with friends: toured the city on Barclay bikes, visited Camden Market (a real gem filled with one of a kind knick knacks), Hampstead Heath, Keat's house, Hampton Court Palace (the world's fourth largest palace), and even watched "Singing in the Rain" in the West End. I had front row seats and got SOAKED as the actors kicked the fallen rain water from the stage into the audience. It was delightful.

My responsibility as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was to lead the 12-18 year olds in my congregation as their Young Womens President.  Every Tuesday night we had phenomenal activities: Battle of the sexes night, creating a music video night, a production of the plan of salvation, service to other ward members, and a teach us a skill you know night. These were but a few.  I loved watching them learn, their testimonies strengthened, and they in turn taught me.

I enjoyed several visitors while in England. My Uncle Jerry and Aunt Zuly met me in Hull where we did some family history work. My Great Grandmother Emily Atkinson on my mom's side was from there. We found the church where she was christened in the Church of England. It was right next to where her house would have been. I could almost see her playing hide and seek amidst the gravestones. Mom and Dad came to visit for my birthday! They were there two weeks in April and I gave them a whirlwind tour of Yorkshire and even took them up to Durham England where Dad's grandmother lived and joined the LDS Church. She had a favorite sunday school teacher that disappeared one day. When she inquired, she found that they had joined the Mormon Church. She went and found the missionaries. It was the teachings of the pre-existence that first rang true to her heart and, being disowned by her family, she left England and came to America.  We also visited Buckinghamshire with Starr's family and saw the grand estate of Waddesdon Manor and lived in a small farm converted Bed and Breakfast. In May, my two sisters Michelle and Julia came along with my Aunt DeAnn.  I gave them the tour and we also did lots of family history work.  Most memorable was the day we went to the records office two hours away in Beverly with some serious internal opposition but as soon as we found the Clark family, all of that went away. They are a very special bunch. We went on a church history tour of England that was also exciting and saw where the first missionaries and baptisms were in Preston. My Great Grandfather served his mission there so it was especially meaningful. We had amazing experiences and made wonderful memories on our work and play adventures.

Having finished all my classes and with some spiritual promptings that let me know I could go if I wanted to, I left England in the end of May the day after my sisters left. My friends had a farewell picnic at Kirkstall abbey and the Young Women had a tea party for me. I landed first in the good old USA capital city of Washington DC where my friend Steve picked me up at the airport and took me to Cheesecake factory with some of my closest DC friends for my first American meal in nine months. Brandon Lee told the waiter it was my birthday, not true, but they brought me a lit candle on icecream anyway. It was other friend's birthday so we celebrated for her by proxy.  I stayed with the Chyatte family who I used to live with. My friends Carl and Susan had a Crepe night party for me and friends as well. It was a spread to behold! I took a quick stop at the Library of Congress to get some materials for my thesis only to be found there, and then it was off to Provo for a quick change of luggage and hello before I flew to Hawaii.

June, July, and August went far too quickly. My first day on the beach back in the sun brought a burn, but also the most heavenly feeling of sunwarming that I hadn't felt for soooo long!! I did get my thesis written on community building and NGOs with the case study of Uganda. Hardly anyone read it but I learned a lot. My Dad asked once if I played or worked more. Definitely played. Its healthy. Back with my besties Cody and Josh and with good friends like Vickie, Seini, and Kealohi, my life was filled with adventure and fun. I visited Molokai with Kealohi and her family and got to ride the burros down to the leper colony.

In September I almost didn't leave, and an eye infection deterred me for another week so I couldn't leave. But, with tears, I hopped on another plane back to Utah.

October brought my Hawaii friends back as they came to Utah for General Conference. We drove the winding multi colored tree graced roads, played in pumpkin patches and Corn bins, and even took a ride up the ski lifts to enjoy the Fall foilage. It was a delight.

In November, I came back to Hawaii with the family for a trip to Ko Olina and Kauai. On the way to the airport, Dad told us that our beloved horse Jay died. When his previous owner sold him to us I remember him saying "You'd have to slit my throat to sell him but if it weren't for my family..." In tears he handed over the reins. I cried all the way to the airport and on the plane. Actually took turns from crying to smiling: "Jay Died. I'm going to Hawaii. Jay died. I'm going to Hawaii." Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Steve, and my two cousins Emily and Elizabeth were there with us. I'll never forget when after  some tragic news I received, Aunt Bonnie took me in her arms and held me. I love her. Dad won a two for one Helicopter Ride. He sent Michelle and me up. We made a great video for him as we soared over canyons and waterfalls.

I was planing on going to India for six months to work with Rising Star Outreach, a great organization that specializes in helping those in leper colonies be reintigrated back into society. They do so through children and schools. I was going to be a sponsor coordinator. I turned in my Visa application but what should have taken five days took a month and a half and my flight had to be cancelled. By the time my Visa arrived, flights were too expensive for me to go and if I went, I couldn't get back home. So I spent all of Christmas and into the New Year sitting before a lovely fireplace typing names into the computer from the Graveyards and records offices of England. A lot of wonderful people were remembered.

Let Art Talk

I'm currently writing a big long monstrous paper on how NGOs need to build 'social capital' ie community in the places they go. This means they need to basically support and then get out of the way while people heal through building trust and care again in their societies.  Some programs worked well in this regard. One of them, Let Art Talk, seemed especially good and I got a first hand glimpse of because my guide who took me to Gulu happened to be one of the people who worked on it, Vincent Okuja.

My Dreams Came True: A Disney Christmas Miracle

I have had the pleasure of visiting Disney World twice in my life. The first time was as a young child. I was seven years old. I remember myself as sometimes being very afraid of the world at that age. But all fear was gone when I rode “It’s a Small World After All.” My family and group lost me for the next long hour or so as I jumped the line and rode it over and over again until I was spotted, nabbed, and led back to my parents. It was a turning point in my life to see that the world wasn’t scary after all. There were two other things I distinctly remember from that trip: I was sadly whisked through the World Showcase when all I wanted was to explore every nook and cranny of it and I REALLY wanted a Mickey Mouse shaped Ice Cream Sandwich. With five children and a strong sense of equality of treatment, this would have been a costly endeavor for my young parents. 

Fast forward twenty seven years. Christmas time is approaching and all my siblings are preparing to spend their Happy Holidays off with the families of their spouse. I, being single, don’t really have an alternative to an empty house with just Mom and Dad, though I love them dearly. My childhood friend Madelene calls me up, “Heidi! Do you want to go to Disney World with us for Christmas?” Well, that was an easy yes. So I flew down to Orlando to join in the Holiday Festivities Disney style with my dear life long friends.  On Christmas Day we make plans to meet up at Epcot Center for lunch. After delicious Moroccan Cuisine, our group scatters and I find myself standing alone looking out over the World Showcase. It was my Christmas gift from God. He remembered my childhood wish and I explored every nook and cranny of those vignettes on my own terms and ended the glorious experience with none other than a Mickey Mouse shaped Ice Cream Sandwich. It is a gift I will never forget.

Thank you Disney for helping a young child see that all her dreams can come true.

New York: Ten Years Later

Ten years ago today I boarded a plane in NYC and landed in SLC Utah, becoming a returned missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints. The I love NY logo has always had an extra special meaning to me. I LOVE NY. Its people, its food, its fast pace, its multi-cultural overload. It was an awesome place to be a missionary. We taught people from every human inhabited continent. Every door was a new adventure. I heard only Temple Square is more international than the NY North mission.

This last week I had an awesome opportunity fall into my lap to go back. I stayed with my Jamaicans: Rose, Jabarie, Wadi, Taji, Marcus, Marie, Makai. I met Rose on the street one day in Yonkers and gave her a pass a long card. Two months later I was transfered to her area and she was referred to us by her friend. After our first visit she scheduled all of the lessons in the next two weeks and was baptized soon thereafter. I'll never forget when we asked her about her feelings after we told her about Joseph Smith and his prayer to know what to do and visitation by God the Father and Jesus Christ. She said "Oh yeah I believe that's true! Angels are real and can be seen sometimes. God can too." 

When I called the day before to ask Rose what she was doing tomorrow she said "oh I've got a crazy day why?" Cuz I might be able to come out. "Get over here then!" I love her. Jabarie came and picked me up in a car that Rose said "You can't miss him. It would be a miracle if there is a car louder than Jabarie's" 

Driving Manhattan in style

We cruised Manhattan in style and met up with some of his friends from Florida.  We shopped in Soho then ate at Lombardi's which is not only the first pizzaria in America, its been dubbed the best. After a divine meal we went and got the best Canoli's in the US at Ferreras.  But since its not an often occasion, dessert got double duty with a stop at the famous Baked by Melissa for some mini cupcakes. Driving around Manhattan in a sports car is a rush as we went through Times Square and past Grand Central Station and zoomed it down some little side streets. The one ride we took on the subway I was touched by an African man who was getting off, saw Jabarie's metro card wasn't working, and swiped his own so that he could get in. I love these people. 

The next day I hung out with Rose at her day car. She had kids from all over the world and they were soooo cute!! Before lunch we took a walk through my old area with a few children in tow. There were so many houses where I'd stood on the steps with my companion. I saw my old landlord Jimmy. He remembered when we missionaries ran the car into the side of the building. He asked me to send his best wishes to my companions. 

Taji took me for a NY Deli sandwich for lunch. We passed the stop sign that is now in place where I totalled a car. That was the one the taxi driver sued me for a million bucks. Didn't go through though.  Still, an intersection is improved now.  

I stopped by Rosenell's house. She lives in some projects. Not remembering exactly where she lived I went over to some nice African American ladies on a bench and asked if they knew where the deaf ladies lived in the building. They looked at me like I was crazy for being there, but as most NYer's do, warmed up when they found I was nice. Rosenel didn't recognize me but let me come in when I told her I'd been a Mormon missionary there. She had me write my name and address on a paper which she carefully looked over with her big magnifying glass. Then she went from cold to: "AHHHHHHH!!! I know you!! You were companions with the other Sister Johnson!" She was sooo excited!! Rosenel is deaf and lives too far away from the deaf branch to go there. She went to church for several years for all three meetings not hearing a word. Her reading level is low, yet she reads voraciously. I interpreted for her when I was in her ward. She shared a graham cracker and her testimony with me. What and amazing person she is.

Nothing like some Zumba before dinner, Rose, Marie, Makai and I headed downtown Ossining for some exercise. BEST ZUMBA CLASS EVER!!! These New Yorkers can dance! I enjoyed being the tall white girl in the back of the class trying to keep up and copy those moves. SO FUN!

For dinner, Rose took us all out for Hibachi at the Okinawa Steak House. Food shows at their finest, there was flying egg for us to catch in our mouths, an onion volcano, and lots of flaming grilling going on.  

Early Wednesday morning I was back on a flight headed home to SLC. What a gift to have been back. The Church is true. The gospel of Jesus Christ is real and powerful. Far more than a stop sign or finding new friends, sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ deeply changed lives, including mine. He is the same Savior for all the people all over the world and He loves them all. I loved being a part of that love. And I LOVE NY.

The Hallowed Grounds of Martin's Cove

I've been to Martin's Cove long ago, looked over the graves, tied burlap to my feet and walked up Rocky Ridge, and camped near the gravesite along the creek. This was not a new experience for me, yet it was a renewal of my appreciation of the amazing pioneer heritage shared by the members of the Mormon church.  I went on a road trip with my sister Katie and her six lil tikes through Wyoming. We drove past Martin's Cove, a particularly significant site in Mormon Pioneer history where the Martin Handcart company sheltered under the early winter storms. Late leaving England, late starting their trek across the plains due to many set backs, they had a lot against them. The story is a sad one with many deaths, yet many more survived than died even though they ate 1/2 cup of flour a day and had burned all their extra blankets to lightened their loads before the snow hit. Freezing and hungry yet with the aid of many rescuers from the Salt Lake Valley hundreds of miles away, they made it through. There was a hallowed feeling even from the freeway. We stopped and visited on our way back. One of my favorite parts was when the guide asked if there were any deer hunters among our group. My niece Diana raised her hand. Curious. She said "We killed a deer with our car" and looked at me. Indeed I'd hit one a few days before that did much more damage to the car than the deer. It was funny!! Especially when you consider I'm the girl who dropped out of the hunter safety course just before the shooting range cuz the guns scared me.
Three of our ancestors crossed the plains by handcart. In the Willie Handcart company, which was a little ahead of the Martin, were Ann Herbert came with her sister Hannah and her son Charles. Ann lost most of her toes.  Hannah is thought to have been a stow away on the boat from England and then married one of the company at the start of the trail to secure funding to go. Character. Ann married Andrew Jackson Rynearson when she got to the valley. He had run away from home, prayed to know where to go and followed his feelings right into Brigham Young's wagon train in 1847. That's how he came to find the Mormon Church.
It was a very deeply moving moment to stop and reflect on what they had done. These people went through soo much to follow the leaders of the Church and come to Zion. It made me think that the small sacrifices I make to live the gospel are really quite insignificant in comparison and the blessings are far more than anything we may go through to get them.

 The Handcart

 The typical bundle of a woman's belongings packed for the trip

"Francis Webster was a survivor of the Martin Handcart Company who found spiritual strength from what e endured on the plains in 1856.  In his old age, he spoke of the journey during an adult Sunday School class discussion about the ill-fated handcart companies. In 1943 William R. Palmer wrote his memories of what Francis Webster had said:

"He (Francis WEbster) said in substance..."I was in that company and my wife was in it...we suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation...we came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities. 

I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and have said "I can go only that far and there I must give up for I cannot pull my load through it" I have gone on to that sand and when I have reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there. 

Was I sorry I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor one moment of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay and I am thankful I was privileged to come to Zion in the Martin Handcart company"

Diana pointing to Ann, Hannah, and Charles Herberts names

Months to Days, Days to Hours, Hours to Minutes...to Moments

It amazes me how this thing call time, this business only measured by man, moves forward. I think God doesn't measure by time because I think he measures by moments instead. Recently I've been feeling the significance of moments  more acutely.  A hymn I love echoes my feelings well: 

Time flies on wings of lightning;

We cannot call it back.

It comes, then passes forward

Along its onward track.

And if we are not mindful,

The chance will fade away,

For life is quick in passing.

’Tis as a single day.

Improve the Shining Moments #226

Sometimes in life I can't wait for things to go more quickly: a cold winter, end of school, start of a new experience. But there's something about the here and now, the moments that are happening right now and their incredible orchestration and temporary-ness that strikes me lately as being vital not to miss. I guess in part it comes from having so many changes, or perhaps time crunches. To give a small window into why this is so present with me let me describe the past few days. I'm leaving town soon. I decided to spend the night yesterday at my sister's house to enjoy my nieces and nephews before I leave. Practically on the way out the door I learned it was my Sister in Laws birthday and they were eating at a restaurant for dinner right then. I almost just went straight to my sister's house but decided to go with my full stomach and stop in to say hello at their food table. There was my mom and family sitting down to eat in a very routine, ordinary way, but to me it was priceless because I won't get to be part of that for awhile. This morning, after a great time with my sister I found out my mother had been admitted to the hospital today. I went to see her. She's quickly improving and will be alright though it was an unexpected jolt on the system. At one point I had to go stand  in the sparkly sterile hall while the nurse was helping my mom. A  man with teary eyes walked out of the room next door. He came up to me and said, "It's a hard thing to see your brother die. All the memories and times together..." He only had a short time to live. The only thing I could think of to say was "it sounds like you lived to the fullest and took advantage of the moments you had." I went back into my mom's room where we sang songs and had a good laugh. Each moment is sooo precious. Opportunities don't last forever.  Live each moment fully because its the moments that make life full.